Just go with your gut Sweet Mary Kane

                   Despite what you may have thought, over here in Colorado, we have to pick the stems out of our bags just the same as you. What I haven't seen in a long time though is any seed come through. When you buy your cannabis from a dispensary, finding seeds in your sack would create an immediate conflict of interest. They can't have you turning around and growing your own if they want to stay in business now can they? So I'd say finding a seed around here is pretty much like finding gold.

Say you did get a seed though, what would you even do with it? Well if you were not paying much attention you'd probably smoke it. You would hear it too, that moment. You pull the Bic flame back from the bowl as if they could save the poor seed inside. Like a kid who finds an empty Easter egg, that same instant you would feel the crushing reality of empty promises. Okay so maybe that's a little bit dramatic.

Instead, you might find yourself uninterested or too busy and simply eat the seed or throw it out. Maybe you feed it to your dog, I had a dog once who love to find my stash. Perhaps as a practical joke you poke the seed into the planter box in front of the police station and hope for rain.

You may, on the other hand, find yourself drawn to bring life to this little seed. The bookshelf next your desk just might be filled up with books about cannabis from seed to sale. If the first two are true, plus you owe your life to cannabis, there's no avoiding a trip to the nursery for potting supplies. For me,  there has been something about finding the seed and making the effort without investing financially that makes this project fun. I appreciate the challenge of it, I can feel my synapses firing wildly, and I like it. So I spark a blunt, put my feet up, and start seeking solutions. Before you get too carried away, you may want to prove your seed can be germinated.

GERMINATION CONFIRMATION

You will need:

• Ziploc baggie
• Paper towel
• Water

First for the paper towel so that it is fixed on both sides and will fit into the Ziploc bag. Next dampen the paper towel with tepid water (guys if you don't know what dampen the means go ahead and stop here, and start searching the Internet for the difference between moisten, dampen, and soak). There now we can move along. Place your seed inside with equal thickness on both sides and set aside in a warm area out of direct sunlight with the Ziploc unsealed for two days. Peek at your seed. Is it getting green? Does it seem to have a life? Place Ziploc in a warmer area with some direct sunlight for part of the day. Around lunchtime blaze some herb and decide to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Eat your sandwich outside, dining surrounded by all this life will remind you that you are trying to grow life yourself inside. Check on your seed, did it sprout? It did! Amazing so did mine.

Nice job Sweet Mary Kane, now what you can do with this? For now leave it in this baggie until I come up with a free idea. Eat dinner, have ice cream and brownies for dessert, realizes Solo cup is the perfect idea. (In the morning I found out I didn't have any Solo cups, I lucked out though and found a $.49 starting pot.) I wouldn't consider that if financial investment. As a matter of fact, I don't consider five dollars a financial investment, so when I saw the bag specifically labeled seeding soil cost $4.20 I took it as a sign.

Before lunch this day I was transferring my little seed with the squiggly tail into its new home. I watered the soil and let the water drain. Then I covered the planter with ‘press and seal’ and poked some holes across the top. For now,  I'll be keeping it in a warm place out of direct sun. Can't wait to see what happens next and of course I haven't named it yet. We have yet to meet. For pity sake I didn't give my son a name for two weeks after we did meet! There's no way I can choose what to call this plant without the pleasure of knowing it. I am, however, open to suggestions.

*The paper towel shown in photo one is not actually pink it was the best I could do to contrast the sprout for visibility.

Feminism

When I was a very small girl in a primary school classroom I came the to conclusion that feminism had screwed up the world for me and I have never convinced myself otherwise. Well that's not entirely true as I am truly blessed to live the life I do so I wouldn't describe it as 'screwed up' now. Never the less I haven't given up my distaste for feminism.
You may have noticed a lot of 'women power' chatter in the news, social media feeds, and on the tongues of your female companions lately. I've noticed it too. I took note of a plethora of complaining about inequality and negative focus on the topic. Where was the celebration of women? Why didn't the announcement of Michelle Johnson's nomination for first ever female Superintendent of AFA appear in the social feed? Where were the stories of recognition for the women in our own lives?
I can't pinpoint any one thing that lead me to believe that the feminist movement was doing it wrong. I have seen both sides of the fence however. I served a decade as both mom and dad, working full time and probably paid less than a male counter part would have been. All while burdened with all the same responsibilities I have now. Which makes for a 5:30 - Midnight work day, seven days a week. Women are extremely resilient and will always come through and do what they have to do. Currently I am a 'housewife' so to speak, minus the wedding part, and I don't make a dime doing it, but I am elated to have such favor.
Have you ever introduced yourself to an extreme feminist as a housewife? I wouldn't recommend it unless you'd like a lecture, but even persons who wouldn't associated themselves with the feminist movement will quickly turn their nose down at you. As though I am less of a person for choosing not to have a paying occupation, although I get the impression that their attitude stems from the assumption that I don't work. Well let me tell you, I WORK. I work my buns off, laundry, dishes, ceilings to floor boards, cooking, shopping, homework, academic and social education, researcher, and activist are just a few of the duties I have every single day without pay. No days off, no scheduled lunch break, no union, no employee of the month awards, and no financial compensation.
How the hell could she recognize all that and still have hard feelings for feminism you're asking yourself. I ask myself the same questions sometimes.
Here is the thing. I belong here. I am all the things I need to be when I need to be them. My 'job' is so important that I wouldn't take money to do it. I support all the people around me and I lift them up when they need a hand. I am an incredible support team. I shouldn't be looked at like an idiot for doing my job. I shouldn't be judged and labeled for my choice. If the world pays men more than women I say fantastic! Pay them two salaries! Particularly if they have a team member supporting their functionality from behind the scenes. The idea that I can work and be a mother/wife/cook/chauffeur/teacher/house keeper/assistant is pathetic. If feminist were truly working to better life for women they would stop focusing on eye for and eye equality and realize that changes have to be made. Why the devil would anyone want to earn the same as a man when going to work? If I'm going to give up time I could be spending on the things that truly matter like my family, home, friends, etc I want double the pay or it's not worth it.
Oh and one more thing directly to the women of the world. Stop picking on each other, its self defeating, ignorant, and unladylike.

What Ails You Sweet Mary Kane? Part Two

The fact is simply that I am Cannabinoid deficient when I do not medicate. And if you're not using Cannabis I would argue that you are too. Evolution has not 'weeded out' the presence of Cannabinoids in mothers breastmilk. They're importance and function should not be ignored for lack of understanding.

Now let's talk about my other ailments I choose Cannabis over big pharma to treat. We'll start with PMS I have the kind of PMS that makes one go utterly mad, I'm talking like suicidal mad and the physical pain is ridiculous, as well. Since my tubal ligation my symptoms seemingly worsen with time. Rubbing on a little salve relieves cramps, of such intensity I would have been bed ridden on Percocet for two days otherwise, within minutes. When I saw a nurse practitioner seeking relief from the uncontrollable  frequent, and random suicidal thoughts that were bombarding me during my cycle I was given many samples (probably six months worth) of a drug called Geodon, from big pharma. I was told it was a mood stabilizer and sent home. I took them and drove home several times considering continuing a straight path although the road curved. Fortunately I was also a nursing student at the time, and I immediately pulled out my drug reference book to discover the truth. I had just seen the drug dealer, and she was pushing anti-psychotics on me, out of a student health care center, without a mental health professional on staff! I threw them out and got by on Percocet and bed rest for several years before discovering Cannabinoid treatment. I'm not going to lie I can still get almost split personality crazy (we even have a humorous name for her), but fortunately for me a good brownie will knock her out within 20 minutes, and I can be part of my life again without waiting it out under the covers. Works the same way with depression.

Next up Alopecia Universalis: an autoimmune disorder in which your body does not recognize hair growth as part of you and, therefore, kills the enemy. I have been totally hairless, including eyelashes/brows, ear and nose hair, etc. for just over a decade. This is a tricky one because there is not a lot of factual information out there. Being considered a cosmetic disorder only many insurance companies do not cover treatment (which unfortunately is more like experimentation). Being considered otherwise healthy in combination with our low numbers (approximately 2% of the population affected) doesn't earn us any priority on the research list either. Here, is what I do know. If you have an autoimmune disorder, you are more likely to develop a second. If you have an autoimmune disorder, your pain tolerance is extremely high. I save a ton of money on hair related expenses and can take a shower faster than anyone that I know.

As far back as I can remember I recall my complaints of pain being met with 'suck it up', 'nothing looks wrong with you', 'it's all in your head' and the like. I also remember the pain continuing to nag at my brain as I tucked it away at these remarks. Sometimes my brain doesn't recognize pain properly or sends me an improper signal, like my hip hurts, but the only thing wrong with me is a kidney infection that presented no other symptoms. If I have to go to a hospital, I am treated like a hypochondriac, drug seeker, and/or giving a "prescription bandage" and discharged swiftly.

I have no desire to attempt to regrow my hair with Cannabis. As the person experiencing this disorder and all my other symptoms, I believe that they are related to the Alopecia Universalis. And while I am not saying that Cannabis could be a cure for it, I want the right to treat my symptoms as I see fit.

I also have a whiplash injury causing a reverse cervical bend and a knee injury that I use the balm on often. I once swung to hard and strained my shoulder golfing. I could have taken four Ibuprofen and waited twenty minutes, but I opted for the Cannabis salve, and my  oldest son watched the clock waiting for me to notify him that it had worked. Three minutes. We continued to play. I put more salve on at bed time and the next day my shoulder felt just brilliant.

'Spirituality and Cannabis' is an entire blog of its own.

There are other things we could talk about. For instance when I treat my symptoms with Cannabis and am no longer pestered by incessant pain signals I am able to soak up information like a sponge. My 4.0 GPA during my college years can be credited to "Wisdom Weed". I can be creative. I can spend quality time with my children. We could go on and on, but I think I have gone on long enough for now. It's your turn.

I Am a Federal Criminal

Before I go into details, let’s talk about the other things that I am. I recognize myself as so much more than merely a federal criminal. Just as you are not your occupations, your spouse, your election decision, your diet, or any one thing about you alone, there is more to me than this one nasty label.

The first thing I am is a mother, it's even on my business card, and it’s the only title on my business card. My children have been the biggest blessing in my life. They are a gift to me. They bring me responsibility. They show me new ways to view the world. They grant me laughter. I gain everything, and it is an honor to watch them grow into the intelligent, compassionate, generous young men that they are. Just like any other parent, I want to provide them with more than I had for myself. They will grow and know so much more than I can comprehend and I wish for nothing more than the ability to prepare them to navigate and improve upon this Earth.

Next I am a community member. I believe in the people. I am peaceful. I participate in my life and the lives of others. I show up. I put forth the effort and base my decisions on a conscious understanding of doing the next right thing. I listen. I laugh. I love. I commit time and energy to charity events from the American Lung Association to the Wounded Warrior Project. I know my neighbors. I help strangers push their cars to the station when they run out of gasoline. I smile. I share. I support. I speak out against any wrong doing I witness in the world. I value the humans and animals on our planet as a family.

I am an activist. From the moment I heard that, a plant had been outlawed such effrontery of our government has burrowed into my heart and soul calling out for my action. I am not always good at it, and I have made mistakes, but I never surrender. I post hand written letters. I make phone calls. I read laws. My contact list includes the White House, the FDA, and the senators and governors of Washington, Colorado, and Oregon. Did you know that the phone is answered "White House" when you call? I phone bank for issues that matter to me.

I could make a very very long list of all the things that I am. Chef, housekeeper, secretary, chauffeur, sister, daughter, girlfriend, woman, writer, and on forever more. However that would be an obnoxiously long blog, and I wouldn't want to do that to you.

So it is that I am also a federal criminal. I don't want to be a criminal of any sort on any level, let alone of the federal magnitude. Having once ceased use of Cannabis to comply with the federal stance I now follow the laws and regulations of a medical state. I never sell Cannabis or share it with non-patient users. I keep it out of reach and educate my children about it leaving no room for curiosity to get the better of them. I maintain current registration and strict adherence to law, policy, and procedure. I wake up in the morning, and I ask myself who I am today and what I am going to do. The answer is always that I will not be afforded a sense of me without being pain-free and so today to be me I am going to medicate. I am going to break federal law to do it. I will not choose alcohol or prescriptions which chain me to a life of parenting from my bed. I will not live in pain allowing my mental and emotional balance to be disrupted in the attempt to compensate for the physical vexation. I will never stop fighting for freedom.

You may see me flagging you down to let you know your brake light is out. You may pull up to Dutch Bros to find that your coffee has already been paid for. You may discover you're thirty cents short in the market, but there is a helping hand around to lend you the money. I am not alone. You will find my brothers and sisters out there on their journey to freedom and while you may find some who wouldn't be labeled federal criminal a lot of us choose Cannabis even if we're still in the closet.

I have considered sitting down and shutting up in the interest of my children. Then I concluded self-censorship for fear of government would be of horrendous consequence. I am a lead by example kind of parent. I must show no fear. I must stand strong and teach them preparation, education, commonality, justice, and faith. Bottom line this is a civil rights issue, and I don't dare to imagine what type of a world we would live in if our historical leaders had let terror gag their messages.