The Center of Sweet Mary Kane

If I tried to keep it a secret it would be an obvious one, that my essential being has been at a struggle for balance. Since my ToughMudder injury my physical needs haven't been being met. At just about the same time I found myself battling an infection that I would continue to fight five plus months until I finally won. Not only was I not caring for my body properly with regular exercise I was struggling to maintain normalcy and mask the daily pain, nausea, and weakness that accompanied my infection. Whats more, I could not or would not (to avoid pain and nausea) consume adequate calories, vitamins, minerals, fat, protein well adequate anything really. 

In turn my mental requirements have been overburdened with the task of balancing my emotional state on its own. Unfortunately, regardless of the fact that we can [and have] separate the brain from the body, Side note: I found the severed brain I held in 2004 surprisingly firmer than expected, the two are not independent of each other. The longer your mind is compensating the more fragile its state becomes as well. Have you ever tried to enjoy your ice cream while you had a brain freeze? That is how my experience of life became. A unwavering desire to want to enjoy it with an unfaltering presences of misery. 

So the time has come, I'm almost completely done with my final round of antibiotics, praise Jah, to get this ship in order. It is time to nourish the light in me. 

There is no doubt that I use my voice to speak for Cannabis frequently, socially, politically, and relentlessly. I am Cannabis. Cannabis will always be dear to my heart and I will continue to have a relationship with Cannabis it until the day that I die. 

That said as I come out of what seems like a deep dream and regain my strength and stamina I find my eyes fixated on Hemp. Hemp clothes, Hemp foods, Hemp cosmeceuticals, Hemp fuels! The list goes on and on.  The history of Hemp is simply as fascinating as anything Cannabis has to offer.

So I guess what I am trying to say here is that if you notice Sweet Mary Kane seems a little MIA don't fret. Its simply time for growth, healing, and centering. I can already forewarn you however, at my return I would expect to see more Hemp talk, not that there will be any less Cannabis talk. 

It doesn't mean I love you any less. 

One Love ~

SMK

I Am a Federal Criminal

Before I go into details, let’s talk about the other things that I am. I recognize myself as so much more than merely a federal criminal. Just as you are not your occupations, your spouse, your election decision, your diet, or any one thing about you alone, there is more to me than this one nasty label.

The first thing I am is a mother, it's even on my business card, and it’s the only title on my business card. My children have been the biggest blessing in my life. They are a gift to me. They bring me responsibility. They show me new ways to view the world. They grant me laughter. I gain everything, and it is an honor to watch them grow into the intelligent, compassionate, generous young men that they are. Just like any other parent, I want to provide them with more than I had for myself. They will grow and know so much more than I can comprehend and I wish for nothing more than the ability to prepare them to navigate and improve upon this Earth.

Next I am a community member. I believe in the people. I am peaceful. I participate in my life and the lives of others. I show up. I put forth the effort and base my decisions on a conscious understanding of doing the next right thing. I listen. I laugh. I love. I commit time and energy to charity events from the American Lung Association to the Wounded Warrior Project. I know my neighbors. I help strangers push their cars to the station when they run out of gasoline. I smile. I share. I support. I speak out against any wrong doing I witness in the world. I value the humans and animals on our planet as a family.

I am an activist. From the moment I heard that, a plant had been outlawed such effrontery of our government has burrowed into my heart and soul calling out for my action. I am not always good at it, and I have made mistakes, but I never surrender. I post hand written letters. I make phone calls. I read laws. My contact list includes the White House, the FDA, and the senators and governors of Washington, Colorado, and Oregon. Did you know that the phone is answered "White House" when you call? I phone bank for issues that matter to me.

I could make a very very long list of all the things that I am. Chef, housekeeper, secretary, chauffeur, sister, daughter, girlfriend, woman, writer, and on forever more. However that would be an obnoxiously long blog, and I wouldn't want to do that to you.

So it is that I am also a federal criminal. I don't want to be a criminal of any sort on any level, let alone of the federal magnitude. Having once ceased use of Cannabis to comply with the federal stance I now follow the laws and regulations of a medical state. I never sell Cannabis or share it with non-patient users. I keep it out of reach and educate my children about it leaving no room for curiosity to get the better of them. I maintain current registration and strict adherence to law, policy, and procedure. I wake up in the morning, and I ask myself who I am today and what I am going to do. The answer is always that I will not be afforded a sense of me without being pain-free and so today to be me I am going to medicate. I am going to break federal law to do it. I will not choose alcohol or prescriptions which chain me to a life of parenting from my bed. I will not live in pain allowing my mental and emotional balance to be disrupted in the attempt to compensate for the physical vexation. I will never stop fighting for freedom.

You may see me flagging you down to let you know your brake light is out. You may pull up to Dutch Bros to find that your coffee has already been paid for. You may discover you're thirty cents short in the market, but there is a helping hand around to lend you the money. I am not alone. You will find my brothers and sisters out there on their journey to freedom and while you may find some who wouldn't be labeled federal criminal a lot of us choose Cannabis even if we're still in the closet.

I have considered sitting down and shutting up in the interest of my children. Then I concluded self-censorship for fear of government would be of horrendous consequence. I am a lead by example kind of parent. I must show no fear. I must stand strong and teach them preparation, education, commonality, justice, and faith. Bottom line this is a civil rights issue, and I don't dare to imagine what type of a world we would live in if our historical leaders had let terror gag their messages.