The Center of Sweet Mary Kane

If I tried to keep it a secret it would be an obvious one, that my essential being has been at a struggle for balance. Since my ToughMudder injury my physical needs haven't been being met. At just about the same time I found myself battling an infection that I would continue to fight five plus months until I finally won. Not only was I not caring for my body properly with regular exercise I was struggling to maintain normalcy and mask the daily pain, nausea, and weakness that accompanied my infection. Whats more, I could not or would not (to avoid pain and nausea) consume adequate calories, vitamins, minerals, fat, protein well adequate anything really. 

In turn my mental requirements have been overburdened with the task of balancing my emotional state on its own. Unfortunately, regardless of the fact that we can [and have] separate the brain from the body, Side note: I found the severed brain I held in 2004 surprisingly firmer than expected, the two are not independent of each other. The longer your mind is compensating the more fragile its state becomes as well. Have you ever tried to enjoy your ice cream while you had a brain freeze? That is how my experience of life became. A unwavering desire to want to enjoy it with an unfaltering presences of misery. 

So the time has come, I'm almost completely done with my final round of antibiotics, praise Jah, to get this ship in order. It is time to nourish the light in me. 

There is no doubt that I use my voice to speak for Cannabis frequently, socially, politically, and relentlessly. I am Cannabis. Cannabis will always be dear to my heart and I will continue to have a relationship with Cannabis it until the day that I die. 

That said as I come out of what seems like a deep dream and regain my strength and stamina I find my eyes fixated on Hemp. Hemp clothes, Hemp foods, Hemp cosmeceuticals, Hemp fuels! The list goes on and on.  The history of Hemp is simply as fascinating as anything Cannabis has to offer.

So I guess what I am trying to say here is that if you notice Sweet Mary Kane seems a little MIA don't fret. Its simply time for growth, healing, and centering. I can already forewarn you however, at my return I would expect to see more Hemp talk, not that there will be any less Cannabis talk. 

It doesn't mean I love you any less. 

One Love ~

SMK

Leave of Absence

In New Jersey, a medical Cannabis state, patients are not being helped because big Pharma has no data to show how THC will react with their established medications. In Colorado we are serving alcohol along side Cannabis and mixing it with substances known to be linked to deaths such as Taurine. In my soul, complete freedom of Cannabis is desirable. In my heart, patients always come first. In my eyes, tears of frustration collect, seldom escaping the corners & trailing down my cheek.

If the above predicament weren't enough of a mental conflict, for me, the egos and greed have become so in front of my face I struggle to overlook them. I want to believe you are with us for the right reasons. I want to feel safe speaking with you. I want to have confidence enough in your business that I would endorse, recommend, shout it from the roof tops. Trouble is when the only thing bigger than hour mouth is your ego it makes me reevaluate my relationship with you or your product (or both!).

I want to scream. "THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING. DON'T MESS THIS UP!"

I want to disappear.

I want to be left alone.

Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 6; The ABC's of SMK

A

• Something I like: Apples

• Something I dislike: Apathy

• Something I love: Art

• Something bad: Agony

B

• Something I like: Bass 

• Something I dislike: Bland food

• Something I love: Banter

• Something bad: Being lied to 

C

• Something I like: Charm 

• Something I dislike: Cake

• Something I love: Cannabis

• Something bad: Cheaters

D

• Something I like: Dirt

• Something I dislike: Drama

• Something I love: Denver

• Something bad: Disrespect

E

• Something I like: Elegance 

• Something I dislike: Earwigs

• Something I love: Earth

• Something bad: Evenings alone

F

• Something I like: Fun  

• Something I dislike: Fakes

• Something I love: Fruit

• Something bad: Falling

G

• Something I like: Gangstas 

• Something I dislike: Gravity (when it makes me fall)

• Something I love: Ganja snacks

• Something bad: Grinding teeth

H

• Something I like: Hugs 

• Something I dislike: Horror

• Something I love: Happiness

• Something bad: Hurt

I

• Something I like: Islands 

• Something I dislike: Irritations

• Something I love: Ibis

• Something bad: Illness

J

• Something I like: Jaq 

• Something I dislike: Jaq

• Something I love: Jaq

• Something bad: Jaq

K

• Something I like:  Kottonmouth Kings

• Something I dislike: Koalas

• Something I love: Kink

• Something bad: Killers

L

• Something I like: Learning

• Something I dislike: Loneliness

• Something I love: Love

• Something bad: Lag

M

• Something I like: Men 

• Something I dislike: Maintenance

• Something I love: My tribe

• Something bad: Meanness 

N

• Something I like:  Nest outside my window

• Something I dislike: Narrow-mindedness

• Something I love: Nenes

• Something bad: Nerve pain

O

• Something I like: Ocean 

• Something I dislike: Oppression

• Something I love: Openness

• Something bad: Oppression

P

• Something I like: Pomplamoose

• Something I dislike: Paper waste

• Something I love: People

• Something bad: Pain

Q

• Something I like: Quilts 

• Something I dislike: Quiet

• Something I love: Quiet

• Something bad: Quiche with meat in it at the meeting where I was assured that everyone knew I was a vegetarian and I didn't need to bring my own breakfast

R

• Something I like: Raver days 

• Something I dislike: Racism

• Something I love: Rat Pack

• Something bad: Rotten anything

S

• Something I like: Sunshine 

• Something I dislike: Selfishness

• Something I love: Someone

• Something bad: Stress

T

• Something I like: Tattoos

• Something I dislike: Treachery 

• Something I love: Trees

• Something bad: Tetnitus

 U

• Something I like: Umbrellas

• Something I dislike: Unagi

• Something I love: Uterus-es 

• Something bad: Unkindness.

V

• Something I like: Violin

• Something I dislike: Verge of insanity

• Something I love: Venus fly traps

• Something bad: Velvet underwear

W

• Something I like: Women

• Something I dislike: War

• Something I love: Waterfalls

• Something bad: Windburn

X

• Something I like: X chromosome

• Something I dislike: X chromosome

• Something I love: Xyris

• Something bad: Xerox

 Y

• Something I like: Yellow

• Something I dislike: Yodeling

• Something I love: You

• Something bad: Yearning

 Z

• Something I like: Zig Zags

• Something I dislike: Zebra farts

• Something I love: Zion

• Something bad: Zero (no seriously that word is just so dumb in english)

Feminism

When I was a very small girl in a primary school classroom I came the to conclusion that feminism had screwed up the world for me and I have never convinced myself otherwise. Well that's not entirely true as I am truly blessed to live the life I do so I wouldn't describe it as 'screwed up' now. Never the less I haven't given up my distaste for feminism.
You may have noticed a lot of 'women power' chatter in the news, social media feeds, and on the tongues of your female companions lately. I've noticed it too. I took note of a plethora of complaining about inequality and negative focus on the topic. Where was the celebration of women? Why didn't the announcement of Michelle Johnson's nomination for first ever female Superintendent of AFA appear in the social feed? Where were the stories of recognition for the women in our own lives?
I can't pinpoint any one thing that lead me to believe that the feminist movement was doing it wrong. I have seen both sides of the fence however. I served a decade as both mom and dad, working full time and probably paid less than a male counter part would have been. All while burdened with all the same responsibilities I have now. Which makes for a 5:30 - Midnight work day, seven days a week. Women are extremely resilient and will always come through and do what they have to do. Currently I am a 'housewife' so to speak, minus the wedding part, and I don't make a dime doing it, but I am elated to have such favor.
Have you ever introduced yourself to an extreme feminist as a housewife? I wouldn't recommend it unless you'd like a lecture, but even persons who wouldn't associated themselves with the feminist movement will quickly turn their nose down at you. As though I am less of a person for choosing not to have a paying occupation, although I get the impression that their attitude stems from the assumption that I don't work. Well let me tell you, I WORK. I work my buns off, laundry, dishes, ceilings to floor boards, cooking, shopping, homework, academic and social education, researcher, and activist are just a few of the duties I have every single day without pay. No days off, no scheduled lunch break, no union, no employee of the month awards, and no financial compensation.
How the hell could she recognize all that and still have hard feelings for feminism you're asking yourself. I ask myself the same questions sometimes.
Here is the thing. I belong here. I am all the things I need to be when I need to be them. My 'job' is so important that I wouldn't take money to do it. I support all the people around me and I lift them up when they need a hand. I am an incredible support team. I shouldn't be looked at like an idiot for doing my job. I shouldn't be judged and labeled for my choice. If the world pays men more than women I say fantastic! Pay them two salaries! Particularly if they have a team member supporting their functionality from behind the scenes. The idea that I can work and be a mother/wife/cook/chauffeur/teacher/house keeper/assistant is pathetic. If feminist were truly working to better life for women they would stop focusing on eye for and eye equality and realize that changes have to be made. Why the devil would anyone want to earn the same as a man when going to work? If I'm going to give up time I could be spending on the things that truly matter like my family, home, friends, etc I want double the pay or it's not worth it.
Oh and one more thing directly to the women of the world. Stop picking on each other, its self defeating, ignorant, and unladylike.