Christmas Gift List : SMK Ideas

Disclaimer: Do NOT buy your significant other any of the items listed without a great backup plan. Sweet Mary Kane is not a gift giving adviser. In fact you'd have to have one crazy ass girlfriend for her to appreciate SMK gifts.

Eyeliner
Calendar
Q-Tips
Towels
Pant Hangers
THIS Necklace
Socks
Knitting Needles
Cards
Keychain
Planner
Skype Dollars
Candy
Papers
Coffee Pot
Sheets
Book
Flowers

White Ball Holiday & Industry Business Awards

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SMK: Confessions of a Teenage Mommy

I was surrounded by 30 some odd, 11 - 14 year old children. They were waiting on me to turn them into 'Whos' for their school play. I took a moment to freeze time in my mind and contemplate my situation. I don't recall ever looking forward to this moment.

When you're a teenage mother you see all smiles and 'ooos/ahhs' over your baby, and that's about it.  Then you're faced with the reality of child rearing. You realize swiftly that your little person is depending on you, to care for them. Still, even slapped in the face with the dirty diapers and spit up covered ... well, everything, its nearly impossible to fathom to just what extent you are responsible for this small human being.

Regardless, there I was in a sea of preteens, setting an example and altruistically giving back. I thought about the parents who were slaving away for crappy wages and, therefore, couldn't be there. The were missing out, and their children were suffering. Somehow or other I was favored enough to be gifted this moment.

Unfreeze. Make-up, hair, hair, make-up, lines, lines, lines! In the back of my mind,  a reminder keeps pinging alerts to my conscious. Watch what you say, I tell myself, They pick up on everything. I'm not dealing with toddlers here. I'm having fun, the kids are silly, and the makeup is fabulous. How lucky am I to be here? There's a perma-grin on my face.

The plays were brilliant, and everyone loved the makeup.

...........

Flashing forward to the present day I find myself devastated and heartbroken over the news of an elementary school shooting. As the story unraveled I sat in the spa getting my nails done. Unable to mask my terror and sorrow, tears streaked down my face.

What would I do? I read, later, several accounts of gathering the children into corners. I imagined being the child in the center of the group. Would I feel protected? Would I be guilt ridden if one of the outer children lost their life? I cried. I shut my eyes again putting myself in the shoes of a child on the outside of the cornered group. Would I be resentful of my location? Would I feel valiant? I cried. I came to the conclusion that either way all thought may very well be overridden with fear.

Next I placed myself in the position of the teacher. I'd be at a loss. One adult to 25 - 35 kids trapped in a room, without intelligence from the outside world. How could I protect them all? Where could I hide them? Would the windows allow for our escape and if so which student could I count on to lead the other children to safety? Could I even put that responsibility on a child? I sobbed.

Being a parent it didn't take much imagination for me to feel the grief as if it were my own. I wanted to go sweep my own children out of school. I didn't, instead I wept. Just days ago I was worrying about my own friends in Portland. Desperately hanging on every word of news, for names to be announced. The anxiety was paralyzing. I try to focus on the relief one would feel once their child was in their arms unharmed, but the despair of hearing the opposite news, that you had lost your child, creeps its way back into my head. I need to wander of in the woods and yell and scream and cry.

This is certainly not a lesson I thought I would ever need to teach my children to cope through. I wasn't prepared for any of this. My youngest son told me that he found out when during class his lap top told him he had a news alert. They're already more advanced than I was at their age. What's a girl to do?

Unthinkable, humanity, simply unthinkable.

Special Friday Edition

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