SMK's Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 1

It seems these days I have less and less to say. Go figure I would commit to blogging each Thursday and instantly become the silent pondering type. Unfortunately for you I am also the 'mean what I say' type. Thus while the reading may be sluggish, even down right painful, the writing will continue. With that said we now delve into the private thoughts of Sweet Mary Kane.

This week I've spent a good deal of time thinking about the people in my life who never change. I am the type of person who is always changing. I embrace expansion, integration, and creation as improvement in my life. After all, as Einstein said, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. Even so I have had and continue to have many people in my life who go as far as taking pride in just the opposite. I'm sure at some point in your life you've heard "You've changed man!" in an argument, as though changing was a bad thing. Or "I'm still the same Joe." as a defense tactic. And what makes "You haven't changed a bit." a complement? Perhaps you've even said similar things. And that I am particularly interested in: if you have a non-changing mindset please try to explain it to me in the comments or message as I am having difficulty seeing the other side on my own.

I would have to say that among my circle of close personal friends the majority are "changers". My other friends (let’s just call them non-changers for ease here) have come into my life from various circumstances of meeting. They are both male and female as well as scattered across age groups. How these relationships developed does not appear to have a link.

Being that the only common denominator is me I shift focus to the why factor. I am inclined to believe that everyone I meet has come into my life for a purpose. There must be a reason that I have not only met these non-changers but I also maintain relationships with them. I could smoke and think until the cats come home on this one. Why do any friendships exist at all? My theory is because you have something that I need and I have something that you need and most of the times that something is simply love. Ah yes, love, I thought I solved my own problem there for a second, but then I realized that love is also the reason that I've been fixating on these questions.

You see I'm also the kind of person who when they come across something really nifty or beneficial they want to share it, especially with the people they love. It's why I won't shut up about Cannabis and why I teach my children how to problem solve and understand efficiency (among other things), love. It's also the reason that when I see my friend running themselves into the same wall over and over just taking a different route to get there I want to help them. I want to problem solve. I want to make a change, improvement. This is only a problem, of course, when they're a non-changer. When they're a non-changer what options do I have?

In the past I have had the tendency to interject my solutions and even argue when unable to effectively reason my logic with them. I have spent countless hours lost in thought trying to come up with another way to attempt getting them to see the brilliance of my logic. I have worried and cried and said "BOB SAGET I told you so!" more than a fair share of times. Worst of all I have lost far too much sleep. Why haven't I just cut these people out of my life? What is the reason our journeys have crossed? There has got to be a lesson to learn here.

Well I'll be damned if I'm not the one being a non-changer in this situation. So I've come to the conclusion that I have to change the way that I handle these things. Now the only problem is the how.

I was so mad at my son I could have spat, but truly it was I that owed him the apology.

My youngest son has always kind of played the role of big brother. He was blessed with "street smarts" or the ability to learn by observation. He's a master a taking social cues and enjoys experimenting with the art of interaction manipulation.

This morning we had to get up early to arrive at the school in time to retrieve his math homework from his locker so he could finish it before class. I am not a morning person; on top of which I decided today was the day that I kick my sugar free Rock Star habit, so I was already irritable. As we were sitting in the car I noticed that he didn't have his school badge on. I asked him about it hoping it was in his backpack and found out he left it at home. Students need their badge to charge their lunches so I asked if he packed a lunch today or knew his number to get lunch at school. No and no. Did he bring any money to purchase lunch from the market? No, all his allowance is at home. I bit my tongue and asked him to take things one step at a time and start with finishing his assignment.

As we sat in the parking lot of the school he worked away in the passenger’s seat and I waited. I was furious! I wanted to tell him that it was unacceptable to be forgetting all these things, his homework last night and now this!? My head was throbbing from the lack of caffeine and level of frustration. I could hear his voice muttering his way through each problem. He is twelve years old, I thought, and what the devil am I supposed to do with him?

I decided I couldn't keep bailing him out. How is he supposed to learn to remember things if he never faces undesirable consequences after all? When he finished his worksheet he nearly leaped from the car to run into the school. After stopping him I put the responsibility on him. "You need to go into the office and ask the secretary how you can solve this problem. Then call me and let me know if you solved it or if you need my help." He agreed and scampered off.

As I backed out of the parking space something caught my eye on the ground. I stopped my car and opened the door to get a better look. His independent reading book! For pity sake, what is wrong with this child!? My inner voice screamed. I picked up the book and tried to decide what to do. I could probably catch him in the office if I parked and hurried. I don't know what the consequence of not having his book will be. The throbbing in my head was increasing and I opted to drive away.

As I drove I focused on my breathing, all I needed to do was get to a coffee stand, just like I had instructed my son I made the decision to focus on one thing at a time. I considered asking the coffee guy what he thought I should do in the situation but I didn't want to hold up the line. On the one hand I thought he should go through the problems that forgetting would bring on his own so that the impact would be effective and perhaps he wouldn't forget in the future. On the other hand I couldn't let him go hungry all day; no one can function up to par without fuel. Talk about a rock and a hard place. Of course I still hadn't received a phone call letting me know what happened with the office by the time my coffee was in hand, but then again it is possible that he wasn't allowed to use the phone.

In the end I opted to take him a readymade 7 11 sandwich, a granny smith, a granola bar, and an apple juice. I put his book in the back with a post it reading "Son. I found your book on the ground when I was leaving. We need to talk about all this forgetting tonight. Mom." and I dropped the plastic sack off in the office.

After school I tried to explain to him how he was no different than the rest of us and we shouldn't expect him to have it all together without the proper tools and guidance. I told him that I was sorry and showed him a list next to the door with a list of everything we need to be prepared to leave the house for reference. He was not amused and he did not seem to take me sincerely, but he did listen to what I said so now it's just a matter of time until I prove it.

Sorry Son,

Sweet Mary Kane

P.S. Easy peasy lemon squeezy ;-)

Pleased to meet you.

Welcome to Sweet Mary Kane, a blog dedicated to telling the anecdotal history of the relationship between a girl with Alopecia Universalis and Cannabis. Neither subject being heavily explored combined with some morning yoga sparked the idea to document this journey.

I realize that my Facebook page focuses ending the prohibition of Cannabis, however, no official format has been developed as of yet. So don't expect this to be the type of blog that limits itself to one thought pattern or topic. I couldn't limit myself to even several topics. You're likely to see posts on vegetarianism, parenting, Buddhism, physical activity, exploration, traveling, food, crafting, Cannabis, and who knows what else.

Each week I will post a blog on Thursday. With additional 'bonus blogs' at my leisure.

Comments and questions are welcomed, appreciated, and answered.

Can't wait to get started and come to build relationships with you all through the intrawebs.

Blessed Be,

Sweet Mary Kane