I was so mad at my son I could have spat, but truly it was I that owed him the apology.

My youngest son has always kind of played the role of big brother. He was blessed with "street smarts" or the ability to learn by observation. He's a master a taking social cues and enjoys experimenting with the art of interaction manipulation.

This morning we had to get up early to arrive at the school in time to retrieve his math homework from his locker so he could finish it before class. I am not a morning person; on top of which I decided today was the day that I kick my sugar free Rock Star habit, so I was already irritable. As we were sitting in the car I noticed that he didn't have his school badge on. I asked him about it hoping it was in his backpack and found out he left it at home. Students need their badge to charge their lunches so I asked if he packed a lunch today or knew his number to get lunch at school. No and no. Did he bring any money to purchase lunch from the market? No, all his allowance is at home. I bit my tongue and asked him to take things one step at a time and start with finishing his assignment.

As we sat in the parking lot of the school he worked away in the passenger’s seat and I waited. I was furious! I wanted to tell him that it was unacceptable to be forgetting all these things, his homework last night and now this!? My head was throbbing from the lack of caffeine and level of frustration. I could hear his voice muttering his way through each problem. He is twelve years old, I thought, and what the devil am I supposed to do with him?

I decided I couldn't keep bailing him out. How is he supposed to learn to remember things if he never faces undesirable consequences after all? When he finished his worksheet he nearly leaped from the car to run into the school. After stopping him I put the responsibility on him. "You need to go into the office and ask the secretary how you can solve this problem. Then call me and let me know if you solved it or if you need my help." He agreed and scampered off.

As I backed out of the parking space something caught my eye on the ground. I stopped my car and opened the door to get a better look. His independent reading book! For pity sake, what is wrong with this child!? My inner voice screamed. I picked up the book and tried to decide what to do. I could probably catch him in the office if I parked and hurried. I don't know what the consequence of not having his book will be. The throbbing in my head was increasing and I opted to drive away.

As I drove I focused on my breathing, all I needed to do was get to a coffee stand, just like I had instructed my son I made the decision to focus on one thing at a time. I considered asking the coffee guy what he thought I should do in the situation but I didn't want to hold up the line. On the one hand I thought he should go through the problems that forgetting would bring on his own so that the impact would be effective and perhaps he wouldn't forget in the future. On the other hand I couldn't let him go hungry all day; no one can function up to par without fuel. Talk about a rock and a hard place. Of course I still hadn't received a phone call letting me know what happened with the office by the time my coffee was in hand, but then again it is possible that he wasn't allowed to use the phone.

In the end I opted to take him a readymade 7 11 sandwich, a granny smith, a granola bar, and an apple juice. I put his book in the back with a post it reading "Son. I found your book on the ground when I was leaving. We need to talk about all this forgetting tonight. Mom." and I dropped the plastic sack off in the office.

After school I tried to explain to him how he was no different than the rest of us and we shouldn't expect him to have it all together without the proper tools and guidance. I told him that I was sorry and showed him a list next to the door with a list of everything we need to be prepared to leave the house for reference. He was not amused and he did not seem to take me sincerely, but he did listen to what I said so now it's just a matter of time until I prove it.

Sorry Son,

Sweet Mary Kane

P.S. Easy peasy lemon squeezy ;-)